hmm [31 Mar 2003|04:52pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Techno - DJ Tiesto - Live @ Energy 2000 ] im searching for clubs and whatnot in key west. apparently we are going this summer. which should be fun. im taking shitloads of pics. i was looking at the things to do and see in key west, all the beaches, and the aquariums, then i see robert frost mansion tours, and creamed my panties. im a dork. blow a bubble 3 bubbles

passing on the word [31 Mar 2003|03:43pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | PPK - Resurection ] If you get this email- [31 Mar 2003|03:21pm] midnightbast Dear LiveJournal user, We have recently noticed that you haven't updated your LiveJournal in awhile. If you would like to keep your LiveJournal account, you must sign in within the next 24 hours. You may sign in at: {link removed} Failure to sign in within the next 24 hours will result in account termination. DO NOT OPEN THIS LINK! IT'S A VIRUS!! blow a bubble 2 bubbles

trancey sections [31 Mar 2003|02:18pm] [ mood | ditzy ] im talking to my friend anthony. i havent seen him since graduation 2001. word. hes adorable. i have a few things to make so i guess ill get those done. one week, then its off to six flags oh yes, i cant wait r0ck my world. blow a bubble

yay for jess [30 Mar 2003|07:07pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Techno - DJ Tiesto - Live @ Energy 2000 ] i got productive all of a sudden. i applied for jeff davis, online of course. put my course of study as graphic design but jared just informed me i would have to change it because jd does not offer graphic design so i dont know what im gonna do. oh well at least ill be in college. that makes me happy. fall semester oh yeah. after that i worked on my mood theme some more. always exciting. jared stayed quite a while today, longer than he anticipated, im sure. but it made me happy. what a wonderful boyfriend. yay. blow a bubble

well [29 Mar 2003|11:06pm] [ mood | flirty ] [ music | dj sammy-heaven ] my baby shall be here soon. i changed my clothes, hopefully i shall look adorable for him. my grandparents are coming tomarrow morning to meet him. i am a bit excited. maybe more excited than i like to admit. i think they will love him. in fact i know they will. so i cant wait. well im off for now. blow a bubble

cool [29 Mar 2003|08:47pm] [ mood | cheerful ] i made bubbley things to go on my comments thing. pretty sweet. and jared just called. i feel better. i love that boi blow a bubble 2 bubbles

clear blue water [29 Mar 2003|07:29pm] [ mood | silly ] [ music | Mario Piu & Mauro Picotto - Arabian Pleasure (Vocal Mix) ] i feel like im being incredibley selfish. i just want jared here with me. damn my hormones. i dont want to do anything. i just want to feel him next to me. be in his arms. arg. he promised he would be back this weekend. so i need to suck it up and not be so selfish. blow a bubble

lonely hearted. [29 Mar 2003|06:08pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | Tunnel Trance Force 2001 - dhs - house of god (best techno(2) ] chris came over last night (jareds friend), we were going to chill with him since he is leaving for the army. well anyway, he called my cell, and i told him he could come over, and wait with me for jared to get off. i felt bad after wondering if jared would get jealous. he siad he didnt though, so thats good. anyway, jared got off and came over, he said i looked pretty. we decided not to go to new orleans due to lack of money, so we went to chris's house on the river. it was super pretty. we picked up some jacks hard cola. i started to drink but my tummy wasnt feeling it because i hadnt eaten. so i gave that up pretty quickly. jared drank. we talked. it was fun. chris and jared told me i was fine. made me feel good. no one has ever told me that. they were drunk, but it still made me feel good. we came home. (jared and i) to my house. i was sleepy. we had drunken jared sex, it was great, talked lots of shit. very fun. i fell asleep. he woke me up. we had not so drunken but tired sex. i fell asleep. my mom wakes me up to sign my check. i go to sleep. the phone rings a bizillion times. i get annoyed. jared leaves. i get dumb. im a little whiney bitch. now im alone. and wish jared were here. ps- deadstrz is open again. blow a bubble

arg. [29 Mar 2003|04:04pm] [ mood | lonely ] i want jared back now. blow a bubble

i like [28 Mar 2003|08:29pm] [ mood | silly ] i think i like being jareds kick ass girlfriend. blow a bubble

its going to be a fine night tonight [28 Mar 2003|08:27pm] [ mood | hyper ] [ music | dj daddy-fine night ] its going to be a fine night tonight, its going to be a fine day tomarrow. im going to new orleans. chris is coming over, then i pray jared calls and we are off to new orleans. chris is joining the army. so we are taking him out before he leaves. yay. happy jess. blow a bubble

worky worky [28 Mar 2003|07:56pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | dj sammy-in motion ] im gonna do the blinkies in the community so i can reopen it, since my computer is working wonderfully again. joel and themla stopped by. joel came and themla came soon after. im tired. i want jared. blow a bubble

i see stars [28 Mar 2003|02:14pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | robin fox-i see stars ] so my computer doesnt have any mp3s anymore. heh. well its cool. i have an mp3 player and i forgot how much it rocks. perhaps i shall take a bath soon. mmmm wash my hair. heh. and then im getting pimped out in my pink pants and afro ken shirt. then i shall take some pics maybe. im in a super great mood. i dont know why. maybe because i just got a check in the mail, and i am going to get my 6 flags season pass like super soon. mmm grand opening. april 4 is the grand opening, but its a friday so i wont be there then. so definately april 5 i shall be there. oh yes.. *creams panties* blow a bubble 2 bubbles

yay [28 Mar 2003|03:04am] [ mood | crappy ] omg my computer is running awesome. maybe i wont have to format. as sad as it seems i think it was because of my 2000 mp3s. oh well. they are gone now and they will be missed. as for me i think im gonna try to sleep agian, if this attempt is not sucessful then i officially give up. blow a bubble 2 bubbles

damnit [28 Mar 2003|01:28am] [ mood | annoyed ] goddamn this insomnia. i quit trying to sleep. i dont know whats wrong with me. but i got t thinking that i have been putting off remformatting my computer so i think im gonna do that soon. very soon, hopefully maybe this weekend. maybe, im gonna put win nt on it, i want to do it when jared is here so he can help me reinstall. or something. arg, but i will be without photoshop for a while. arg. while jared is here this weekend too, i think im may ask my dad for a little cash so i can get some pics developed i forgot i had, which include, my trip to hattiesburg in dec, and new years. i want them now damnit. blow a bubble 2 bubbles

[27 Mar 2003|11:04pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | DJ Tiesto - Perception (new vocal mix) ] Poll #117759: siblings Open to: all, results viewable to: none do you look up to your older sibling? (if you have one), if there isnt enough room leave in comments). View Answers blow a bubble 1 bubbles

hmm [27 Mar 2003|10:55pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | System Of A Down - Toxicity ] i hope i can sleep tonight. i hope jared gets off of work soon. i miss him. maybe i got through to my brother maybe. i hope so. im trying to explain to a 16 year old that their parents are not just being bitches. thats its for his own good. heh. too bad people dont listen to me. i am actually good with that stuff. blow a bubble 3 bubbles

heh. [27 Mar 2003|08:48pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Unknown Artist - Untitled ] i was joking around with my mom and told her that jared and i are taking our bathtub when we move out, heh, its great, its old and deep and has feet. its great. but she said seriously, that we could take it. RAWK. jarhead and i will have an awesome bathtub. oh yes. blow a bubble 8 bubbles

hmmm [27 Mar 2003|08:23pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | sunrise ] i just tried to im my friend laura, (from usm), i think she is like not allowed to talk to me or something. probably because im going out with jared. her loss. too bad she cant stand up for herself. i wish she could. blow a bubble

arg [27 Mar 2003|08:05pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | Unknown Artist - Untitled ] arg. im exhausted. my eyes are watering. bluh. blow a bubble

word. [27 Mar 2003|05:43pm] [ mood | geeky ] [ music | TECHNO-DJ Buzz Fuzz - King of the Beats ] damn im tired. i cant beleive i stayed up all night doing that layout. arg. i feel like im going to fall over. i think i may take a nap. nap? maybe. im tired. its either a nap or a bath. one or the other. so for now im out. blow a bubble 6 bubbles

yay [27 Mar 2003|05:17pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Unknown Artist - Pink Floyd - The Wall - Disk 1 ] what a great day. i_am_aj and kid_kaos came by, aj gave me an early birthday present. perhaps pictures shall come soon. but for now. i need a break from this thing. AHHHHHhh what a great present. blow a bubble

yay. [27 Mar 2003|05:05pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | Unknown Artist - Pink Floyd - The Wall - Disk 1 ] i made a mood theme to go with my new layout. i am impressed with myself. but im behind on friends page, and comments. and i am gonna close the community for a little while, until i get caught up. look at my mood thing, thats my fav. blow a bubble 10 bubbles

kick fucking ass [27 Mar 2003|06:31am] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Eels - A Daisy Through Concrete ] check out my new layout. i fucking rock. rckstar13 and my friends page here. tell me what you think. blow a bubble 16 bubbles

for the love of my vanilla coke [26 Mar 2003|11:53pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | Weezer - No One Else (Acoustic) ] why am i still awake. the crampage sucks. bad. but whatever. i got a bit creative tonight i suppose. maybe tomarrow that will linger on. im hungry. i need a job. seriously. luckily jared is pretty damn patient with my dumbass. heh. so im lucky. blow a bubble 6 bubbles

check it out [26 Mar 2003|10:08pm] my userinfo is spify now. i think i found a new font im in love with :) tell me what you think. blow a bubble 5 bubbles

tell me [26 Mar 2003|10:06pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | New Artist (37) - Track 03 ] if you want a link on my userinfo, leave your lj name Poll #117336: userinfo Open to: all, results viewable to: all do you want a link in my userinfo? View Answers blow a bubble

uggg [26 Mar 2003|07:29pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Dj Tiesto - In search of sunrise 2 ] im not feeling great. stupid cramps. midol isnt doing anything, and im super tired. this sucks. blow a bubble 1 bubbles

by the way [26 Mar 2003|05:03pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Dune - Rainbow To The Stars ] jared apologized for the other day. i really dont think he said anything wrong, i think i just cried because of hormones. but he apologized, and it meant a lot. ( pic of jared ) blow a bubble 3 bubbles

sooo [26 Mar 2003|04:52pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | Pink Floyd - wish you where here (live) ] i start on ortho-tri again sunday. so here comes jess the crying ball of goo, until my body gets used to it agian. does anyone know when the best time to take birth control pills is? in the morning? at night? or does it even matter? blow a bubble 5 bubbles

[26 Mar 2003|04:31pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | grateful dead-cocaine ] i have finally made the switch. most of my journal is now friends only so if you want to be added, ask and you shall recieve. also, join my community, deadstrz blow a bubble 15 bubbles

yay [26 Mar 2003|02:53pm] [ mood | chipper ] my jared loves me lots. blow a bubble 2 bubbles

grrr [26 Mar 2003|10:29am] [ mood | complacent ] i called jared, he didnt answer. hes prollie still asleep. ::gets sad:: im going watch tv and hope to fall back asleep. blow a bubble

[26 Mar 2003|09:24am] [ mood | confused ] complete_extacy blow a bubble

new [26 Mar 2003|01:11am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | (Beatles) Mrs Robinson ] new blinkie blow a bubble 5 bubbles

riddle [25 Mar 2003|11:12pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | Bloodhound Gang - The Roof Is On Fire ] people who got it right: killerbunny, armybitch, wolfjaw the more you take the more you leave behind. what am i? footsteps blow a bubble 7 bubbles

perhaps [25 Mar 2003|10:26pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Pink Floyd - Obscured By Clouds ] i think there may be some hot trampoline sex tomarrow. oh yes. i am going to rape him, because i have no vibrator, no batteries at least. i think thats what ill do when i get the money from ddanadd, ill buy batteries, then everytime i use my vibrator ill think of her ;) blow a bubble 2 bubbles

theres [25 Mar 2003|10:05pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Dune - Who wants to live forever ] theres still time so tell me what you think it is ill post who has gotten it right, and what the answer is at 11pm. blow a bubble 3 bubbles

so far [25 Mar 2003|04:30pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | System of a down - Disorder ] so far no one has answered the riddle correctly. but i did get some great answers :) blow a bubble

real update [25 Mar 2003|04:07pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Phish - Farmhouse (Conan) ] jared called before he left for work. i cried, he didnt say anything wrong. its just he mood im in. i need a job. i need to get out of my house. i am more producitve, when i feel im on my own. its hard when im here. i need to move out. be on my own again. i was a lot more productive in hattiesburg. i had stuff to do things i had to get done. i procrastinate too much here. my house makes me feel trapped. like i cant get out. i dont like that. i had places to go when i was on my own. i dont know i guess thats it. i need a job so i can get out of here. blow a bubble

riddle [25 Mar 2003|03:53pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | AK1200 - Tribe Vs. Aphrodite ] Poll #116769: riddle Open to: all, results viewable to: none teh more you take the more you leave behind. what am i? View Answers blow a bubble

help! [25 Mar 2003|02:36pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Electric Skychurch - Hipgnosis (Cirrus Remix) ] here is my letter to the irs, tell me what you think and give me suggestions, please. To Whom it May Concern: I am currently unemployed, and begining school in the fall semester 2003. I can make small payments monthly to my bill. I was not aware that any money was being not being taken out of my paycheck. I was seventeen at the time, in high school, and I had no idea, that it was not being taken out. Again, i am currently unemployed, but i am willing to make small payments monthly. Jessica %^#%^$&$& blow a bubble 2 bubbles

tomarrow [25 Mar 2003|02:24pm] [ mood | distressed ] i get to see jared tomarrow. i get to apply at sav a center. it will work out. everything will turn out great. i am not a looser. blow a bubble 4 bubbles

i guess [25 Mar 2003|01:07am] [ mood | content ] [ music | The cure - Creep (Radiohead Cover) ] i guess im going to sleep, hopefully jared will call, and all is well. but for now i suppose its bed time. blow a bubble

turkish royals [25 Mar 2003|12:39am] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Techno - Trance - House - BT - Dreaming (dj tiesto remix) ] i just realized its getting late and jared hasnt called. hmm i hope he is okay blow a bubble

tightened words [24 Mar 2003|09:46pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Dune - Are You Ready to Fly ] so i look back and read what i wrote one year ago today. one entire year. tomarrow marks the one year anniversary that spencer got shot. one year. nick. im glad im over him. some of these bois i just dont know what they did to me. i just dont know. spencer on the other hand, heh, he was my bestest friend, and i miss him. i miss him so much. i have looked at this picture of jared and i, so many times. and all i can think is how lucky i am. this is what i have waited for. this is what i have dreamed of. blow a bubble

[24 Mar 2003|09:38pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Dune - Who Wants To Live Forever (Trance remix) ] *today last year* loose thoughts with a casual mind [24 Mar 2002|02:31am] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | clutch jesus on the dashboard ] i saw him look at her. its not the same. they way they are together, it could be the jealousy it could be narcism. i dont know. i just wish i could look at someone like that agian. look at them with total adoration. look at them the way i did. i wish someone could see it all in me. see maybe that i am different, i am someone, not just another person. not the other person in that crowd of people. i dont want to be forgotten just another book tucked into a bookshelf. another book left unread. i dont want to be there. i want so much more for myself more than i can do, more than i could accomplish? who knows sometimes i cant help but look into my memories remembering nick and how much i loved (love) him. thats what i see when i look at him they are so much alike, i want to be with him because i see what he gave me. its not the same though i dont get the feeling i had with nick the pure excitement to be around him, the bliss i created, and enjoyed so much. i look in his eyes but i cant see the love that he had for me, i cant see that affection when he holds me. its not the comfortable feeling, its the lust the need to feel real, like i do exist. the need to feel like someone may need me or care for me, care for me the way he did. i lost it though just as i seem to loose everything i love so much, it always leaves, maybe i push it away. maybe im always looking for more instead of enjoying what i have. living the moment, not recalling the past and trying to achieve more than could ever be possible, trying to live the fairy tale, a fairy tale i try to make make myself believe is real, only to have that reason to go on. that reason to wake up in the morning, maybe i dont need it anymore. sometimes i can look in the mirror, sometimes i see this beautiful person but i soon realize its not me. its just that other person i always dream of being the person, i know i could never be agian. that little girl that still looks at the world so niave, but i know thats an impossiblity. i just wish i could sit back and believe that there is a prince charming for everyone. sometimes i sit try so hard to tell myself that one day there will be that one person that will make it come true, i look back and know that i had it, but i cant ever see it happening again, ive isolated myself from everything that could have been a good thing, isolated myself to the computer screen, system of a down, and my wonderful comfy bed. blow a bubble

heh [24 Mar 2003|09:34pm] [ mood | geeky ] [ music | Lords of Acid - I wanna see ur pussy ] my pussys just the sweetest thing that youve ever seen compared to mine your pussys really ugly and mean. blow a bubble

ode to my vagina [24 Mar 2003|09:28pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Robin Fox - I See Stars (DJ Sharaz's NIght Sky Remix) ] oh my dear vagina. you are so pretty. like a flower. oh my dear kitty. you keep me happy when im sad you entertain me when i am bored. oh my dear pussy your wet when i am happy and so smooth\ oh my dear vagina how i love thee *bored* blow a bubble 21 bubbles

miss usa [24 Mar 2003|09:01pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Seven Mary Three - Waters Edge ] those pagents bother me for some reason. im not sure why. but whatever. my cousin is in the air force. my xbf is in the army. my friend is in the army. that bothers me too. my tooth bothers me. my room bothers me. but its okay. im alive and well. blow a bubble 10 bubbles

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